Bad With Numbers

Spy Kids 3D: Game Over

September 13, 2021 Bad With Numbers Season 2 Episode 8
Spy Kids 3D: Game Over
Bad With Numbers
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Bad With Numbers
Spy Kids 3D: Game Over
Sep 13, 2021 Season 2 Episode 8
Bad With Numbers

On this week's show, we're popping on our funny glasses and reaching for some kind of coherence with 2003's Spy Kids 3D: Game Over! How come Stallone seems to be the only one having fun here? Are there some kind of stakes on the line in this movie? Why isn't this just a straight remake of Chinatown with kids? And what would make a better 3D movie: Ordinary People or Boogie Nights? All this, plus we play a stupid quiz about fake video games! 

Spy Kids 3D: Game Over was directed by Robert Rodriguez, and stars Daryl Sabara, Alexa Vega, Ricardo Montalban, Sylvester Stallone, Salma Hayek, Mike Judge, Antonio Banderas and (not enough) Carla Gugino.  

Bad With Numbers is a weekly show about questionable movie sequels, all the way from Toronto, Canada. It's hosted by Neth Knowles, Laura Medeiros, Rodey Gozum and Megan Swaine.   

Theme song by Audiopop. 
Artwork by Laura Medeiros. 

Find us on Twitter, Instagram, YouTube or drop us an email at bwnpod@gmail.com.  

Show Notes Transcript

On this week's show, we're popping on our funny glasses and reaching for some kind of coherence with 2003's Spy Kids 3D: Game Over! How come Stallone seems to be the only one having fun here? Are there some kind of stakes on the line in this movie? Why isn't this just a straight remake of Chinatown with kids? And what would make a better 3D movie: Ordinary People or Boogie Nights? All this, plus we play a stupid quiz about fake video games! 

Spy Kids 3D: Game Over was directed by Robert Rodriguez, and stars Daryl Sabara, Alexa Vega, Ricardo Montalban, Sylvester Stallone, Salma Hayek, Mike Judge, Antonio Banderas and (not enough) Carla Gugino.  

Bad With Numbers is a weekly show about questionable movie sequels, all the way from Toronto, Canada. It's hosted by Neth Knowles, Laura Medeiros, Rodey Gozum and Megan Swaine.   

Theme song by Audiopop. 
Artwork by Laura Medeiros. 

Find us on Twitter, Instagram, YouTube or drop us an email at bwnpod@gmail.com.  

hey folks thanks for coming in a little

early before we record tonight's episode

look we've been getting pretty good

listening figures since season two

started but i feel like we really need

to push ourselves to get over that next

bump and really you know grow the

podcast so i want to hear your ideas on

how we could maybe do that this is an

open forum and a safe space so remember

there are no stupid ideas only stupid

people we could invite another guest on

guests are always fun do you have anyone

in mind a cat a cat

my cat we could give away a car we don't

have the budget we could give away your

car we could create a meme expand on

that people like memes great we could do

an episode from outer space and how

would we get there uberxl we could do an

episode from innerspace you mean just

like that dennis quaid movie yeah just

like the parrot trap we could pivot to

become a true crime podcast what fine we

could pivot to become an untrue crime

palette to cast start a beef with mark

baron start a beef with the office

ladies start a beef with ourselves i

hate you neth we could become spotify

exclusive we become a myspace exclusive

we could become a scheduled radio

broadcast on an am transmitter these are

all terrible musical episode clip show

episode animated episode free hot dog

with every download free dog with every

download free download the show is

already free and we're not giving

anything away please stop pushing that

every fifth download summons candy man

every fifth download installs spyware

every fifth download makes your phone

explode we only cover movies directed by

james cameron we only cover movies

starring dove cameron the only cover

movie starring kirk cameron please stop

we do an episode in 3d wait

go on everyone could wear those free

glasses you get to the theater and we

could just shove stuff through the

screen of their device at random

intervals and everyone will lap it up

because who doesn't like getting poked

by stuff

i

i love it we can charge people extra for

the 3d version of the podcast even

though the content will be exactly the

same people will pay thousands to

retrofit their devices with this

technology and because it's not just a

gimmick it'll last forever i knew there

was a reason i was keeping you guys on

the payroll you don't pay us

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

all right so what movie the is not

available in 3d would you like to see

converted into a 3d movie ordinary

people

really you want the 1980 academy

award-winning drama ordinary people in

3d

no but just imagine like all those

intense scenes like it feels like you're

crying they're with them and you like

want to give them a hug like the painful

things will just be even more painful

think of that emotional gravitas

so you're literally looking to make the

3d experience more emotional damn okay

yeah wouldn't you cry more no i mean i

don't really like ordinary people you

know

it's fine it's okay it's not you know

raging bull should have won that year

but whatever and it has like if you want

the things that are in your face there's

a whole like boat scene accident oh

that's pretty like that's pretty like up

there with the what's that movie

jurassic world

riveting

for a boat accident you went with

jurassic world and not you know titanic

that's already in 3d i think didn't they

didn't they just re-released that in 3d

i think they just did yeah oh such a

good movie i uh i went to look up

because i'm i'm actually going to rely

on you for this one

i want to look up if the mummy has a 3d

uh version but was sidetracked when

google took me to was there a mummy on

the titanic was there i think there was

there was not

there was a rumor going around for a

while there was uh so it basically says

if the story sounds too good to be true

it's because it is

so there is no records of the mummy

being transported on the ship however

that's what they want you to believe

exactly so who says that they couldn't

have just snuck the mummy on the titanic

and that's really what cursed it i'm

just saying why have the asylum not made

a movie of that yet mummy on the titanic

sounds amazing i kind of love the idea

that it's the whole um

jack and rose lifting up on the on the

bow of the boat or the nose of the boat

but it's the mummy and he's decomposing

he's trying to be king of the world his

arm falls in the [ __ ] atlantic yeah i

mean that would make a great horror

movie somebody finds a sarcophagus at

the bottom of the ocean in the titanic

wreckage and then uh and then it ends up

coming to life and murdering people or

something maybe that's what james

cameron was looking for down there all

this time maybe he knows something about

that that we don't oh my god james

cameron directs it and brendan fraser's

stan like stars in it i would i would

die nice

i would love this i will write so wait

you're saying you want the mummy in 3d

yes i mean that that works for right

like that that movie has all the kind of

prerequisite [ __ ] that a 3d movie needs

it's got like you know people popping

all over the place and scarab beetles

running around that [ __ ] would work in

3d uh i think she just wants brendan

fraser in 3d yes um megan what do you

want in 3d um it's a toss-up between

back to the future

and

uh you know the car comes straight at

you out of the screen yeah

nice and the original ghostbusters i was

gonna say the 2016 ghostbusters but

apparently it was in 3d and now it was

in 3d because i saw it in 3d i saw it

twice in theater so there is a

reasonably good chance that i saw it in

3d and just do not [ __ ] remember so i

don't know i guess i don't i guess the

3d wasn't impressive enough for me to

remember it it wasn't it sucked because

i saw it with brian in the theater so he

tends to prefer to go for the 3d option

if it's available so we we must have

seen it in 3d if it was available in 3d

so now i'm like hm also you saw that

movie twice in fairs i'm sorry the i

like the movie but i um i i can't

remember why i saw it twice brian

[ __ ] loved it excellent dance

sequences yeah i mean i'm a paul figgs

stan but the uh the original like i'm

just trying to think of how the original

could be the the marshmallow man

sequence would be really [ __ ] last 3

days

way to make the marshmallow man like

slimer coming straight down the hallway

to venkman would look awesome in 3d yeah

like anything involving the the uh

proton beams or something i don't know i

realized what could take that next level

because if have you ever guys done like

4d so like

oh with the chairs that move back

forward there we go i i've done that

with schwartz i think the audience

should get slimed is that what you're

saying like i think that would be part

of it like you get the whole like

splatter section first you think it's 3d

with the glasses and then you get

splattered and then you touch your face

like oh no this is real yeah [ __ ]

whatever that afterlife movie is i want

like an interactive ghostbusters movie

where people are getting slimed in the

first several rows and like

i mean speaking of people getting slimed

in the first few rows you know what

movie i want in 3d resident evil evil

dead no evil or sorry evil dead that's

what i meant to say

boogie nights oh god i thought you were

going to say greasy stranglers

yes

boogie nights in 3d and then right at

the end when he flops out his [ __ ] the

audience would all just scream and it

would be amazing okay you know how in

when like 3d movies are all the rage

like every trailer would have like this

family and be like and like shocked as

like the tire comes at them imagine if

they use boogie nights for that to

emphasize the best like why you need to

go to the cinemas is because of boogie

nights because mark wahlberg's

prosthetic [ __ ] is gonna pop out of the

screen right at you and the audience

reaction is just

and then intrigued and then they i don't

know they lean in i don't know

trying to poke at it from a reach for it

yeah i realized now that 40 boogie

nights would be too much 3d maybe 40 too

much i don't know what to expect there's

there's people that are into [ __ ] i

mean oh god oh my god there's a there's

a market for that

stop bringing up cocky on this [ __ ]

podcast that's the third time you've

done it like it's 3d i'm sorry we've

already earned the little e on itunes

and we've only been [ __ ] recording

for five minutes

in for a penny in for a pound now

exactly

welcome to bad with numbers a podcast

where we talk about terrible sequels i'm

neff joined as always by laura hi roddy

heyo and megan hey and this week on the

show we are talking about spy kids 3d

game over uh from the year 2003 directed

by robert rodriguez were you guys uh

familiar with this franchise not really

i mean yeah i was familiar with the fact

that you're like my cousin would be like

oh you need to see el mariachi oh and

you see desperados oh what's he doing

next spy kids

yeah we'll get into that that's a pretty

interesting pivot he made there

uh this is my jen's thing and i remember

very see i didn't actually connect it

until i saw the glasses in the movie but

i remember going to blockbuster and them

having the 3d glasses on the counter

that you had to buy separately so i

remember having those and thinking that

it was so cool that i had the glasses

that were in the movie wait wait wait

wait so if you rented this movie at

blockbuster

you had to buy your own pair of glasses

to watch it i think so i don't i was

pretty young so i could have been but as

far as i remember it was an extra charge

it might it might have just been special

ones because i know there have been 3d

movies that i've gone to at the theater

anyways where they sell extra special 3d

glasses yeah at the concession stand

instead of the disposable ones or

whatever i have iron man ones so i i'll

date myself as usual by being old as

[ __ ] but i remember working in a video

store as a teenager and freddie's dead

the final nightmare was um available to

rent and it came with four pairs of 3d

glasses like the the cardboard paper

ones just came with a rental and they

were just returned when you returned it

they were not sanitized they were not

cleaned they were just doled out to the

next person

and in 2021 that just seems like such a

grim fall

going on that blockbuster it's like why

doesn't everybody have pink eye

oh my god yeah um yeah like this

franchise i i definitely saw the first

movie in theaters um i don't think i've

ever seen the second one but i also

definitely saw this one in theaters i

remember taking my daughter to see it

when she would have been maybe like five

years old and the only reason we went to

watch it is because she wanted to go and

see pirates of the caribbean but it was

um it was sold out because it was around

the same time and uh so we just ended up

going to watch this and then went and

saw pirates of caribbean like the next

night or whatever i mean this was the

better movie

uh maybe in retrospect sure but

definitely in the summer of 2003

everybody was on that pirates of a

caribbean trip right i was also

i went to a pirate convention like

festival i guess during that year yeah

did they have like a plank that you

could like you know walk

no but it had a stand-up comedian so

that was kind of weird wait did he do

r-rated comedy

[ __ ] stop listening now

just turn this off just turn this [ __ ]

off go and do something better your time

seriously it's not going to get any

funnier than that just [ __ ] we'll see

you next week yeah um shall we do a

little potted history on robert

rodriguez the director of this movie

because his career is a pretty

interesting one yeah okay so he was born

in 1968 in san antonio texas but in 1992

when he was 23 years old he self-funded

his debut feature el mariachi

and he raised the budget for it mostly

by participating in medical trials for a

clinic in austin

i love that that's great imagine funding

a feature just by taking a bunch of

random beta blockers and [ __ ] that's

insane the film is shot in a small town

near the mexican border it's basically a

kind of crime stroke shoot em up action

movie and even though it only costs

seven thousand dollars and even though

rodriguez wrote and directed and dp'ed

and edited the whole thing himself it

still gets picked up by columbia

pictures who then spend two hundred

thousand dollars on post-production to

clean it up for theatrical exhibition so

the whole like making a movie for seven

thousand dollars legend about rodriguez

is a little kind of fuzzy by the time

you factor in all like the money that

went into marketing and stuff but the

fact that he still shot a whole movie

for seven thousand dollars is kind of

insane um even if it did look pretty bad

until columbia like threw a load of

money at it that would get you like a

short film nowadays sure but it's also

it's this kind of notion that a lot of

filmmakers tell you like i've asked

filmmakers in the past would you

recommend going to film school and the

answer has always been no take the money

that you would spend on that and go and

learn a shoot a [ __ ] short feature

and use it for your real right yeah

i'd be like depends regardless anyway

the movie becomes a hit or at least like

scalable to its budget it becomes a hit

because it makes like two million

dollars from a really limited theatrical

run and then it does like untold amounts

of

business on vhs enough so that colombia

agreed a bankroll a sequel come remake

of the movie for rodriguez and that

movie turns out to be desperado which is

a potential good of a numbers episode

because my memory of that film is is

it's kind of awesome

but i haven't seen it in about 20 years

so i may be really wrong on that

desperado like establishes a long

working relationship between rodriguez

and not only antonio banderas but also

salma hayek and danny trejo who are also

in spy kids 3d machete um and he's

frequent

collaborator quentin tarantino who has a

minor role in desperado but also wrote

the script for rodriguez's next movie uh

which was from dusteldorn a movie that

again i adored when i saw it in theaters

when i was 15 watched it like

religiously through the back half of the

90s don't think it holds up quite as

well in this day and age um the front

end of that movie is always way more

enjoyable for me than all the silly

vampire [ __ ] in the second half but you

know still a quotable movie people still

love that [ __ ] i can see what you have

to watch them back i remember being a

kid though and watching uh what's it

called from dusk to dawn and just being

freaked the [ __ ] out of it because like

that was quite gory yeah and i mean i i

kind of wish with from dust till dawn

that they'd held off on the mark i

remember the marketing for that movie i

really wish they'd like held off on the

whole vampire reveal but all that [ __ ]

was in the trailers it was like if you

just sat down in that movie with no

prior knowledge and and like halfway

through this kind of fairly sort of

standard crime film becomes a film about

a [ __ ] bar full of vampires that

would have blown your mind in a movie

fair i don't know wait so then like i

really wanted to know how he pivoted to

spike it's cause you talked about like

uh desperado and like from dusseldon and

it's such a turn but i'm so curious of

like why that turned ready i'll say i'll

say this to you hold onto your butt

because you're about to find out all

right holding butt next up rodriguez

makes the faculty another movie that i

loved at the time uh also holds up

pretty well uh good script by kevin

williamson great soundtrack that film

has got an awesome [ __ ] cast you've

got elijah wood you've got jordana

brewster like pre fast and furious josh

hartness in there clear deval who i was

like absolutely in love with when that

movie came out

anyway by this point like rodriguez is

like a bankable genre director who like

really doesn't shy away from having

violence in his movies so obviously the

next thing he does is go and make a

pg-rated kids film about tween spies

right such a turn yeah it it's it's a

pivot but there's a reason for it right

rodriguez told an interviewer at the

time that somebody had come up to him

and said my son loves desperado and

rodriguez was like well how old is your

son and the guy says he's six

and apparently that like bothered

rodriguez to the point where he like he

didn't want kids being exposed to that

amount of violence and gun play in

movies so he opted to make a

family-friendly action comedy that

doesn't have any guns you know it's kind

of like very kind of gadget based sort

of action in those films um so he makes

this thing internally at his

troublemaker studios production company

it ends up costing like 35 million

dollars but it rakes in 150 million

worldwide and obviously fuels free

sequels the last of which came out in

2011. hey harmon you're leaving the

jessica alba one no no that's yeah 2011.

that was the one that had um john mchale

and jessica alba in it right uh did you

direct that too he did wow okay i should

i watch that i don't know

i've never seen it i couldn't tell you

man anyway after that rodriguez is kind

of like flitted between sort of extreme

hard r movies um

stuff like sin city machete were kind of

his r-rate adventures and he does like

kids movies as well right he did um the

adventures of shark blind lava girl

which i've i have never seen and to be

honest don't worry oh man that has like

a cult following i've never seen he do

what was that grindhouse film he did was

planet terror was that him yeah the one

where the woman has a gun leg yeah the

where rose mcgowan's got the the machine

gun

i didn't really like that movie i'll

just say what i find fascinating is like

laura's reaction to say like shark boy

and lava girl like he has this

capability like with this spy kiss movie

and like that movie like as like if

you're an adult you're like oh whatever

but then for some reason he's able to

tap into what makes kids go like yeah

this is what i want to see

come on george lopez's giant circle face

how can that not be like instantly just

lodged in your memory canal forever

like

like taylor lautner shark boy was mine

my little person yeah is he yeah i did

not know that about him i thought

twilight was his first movie no he made

my tiny hard quarter he was also in uh

when he was a weep cheaper by the dozen

two oh god damn i've seen that movie

that might that's that's a [ __ ]

episode um oh yeah

i mean like rodriguez hasn't done

anything as kind of cool as the stuff he

was doing in the 90s recently but he did

make um elite a battle angel which i've

seen like at least four times by this

point and i'm still enjoying that movie

but also looking at it now i'm kind of

like these visuals are gonna date real

[ __ ] quick like pretty soon that

movie is gonna look out of date because

it's all cgi and this is the problem

with cgi um just a little before we do

the box office a little fun thing about

rodriguez in 2015 he made a short film

with john malkovich called a hundred

years but as yet it's still unreleased

do you know why it's too malkovichi it's

too much of him malkovich malkovich

malkovich malkovich

close but not quite it's because it's

currently being held in a time locked

safe behind a case of bulletproof glass

and that safe isn't scheduled to open

until november

2115

when you

me and everyone listening to this

podcast will be long long dead as [ __ ]

why

i hope whoever beams that movie directly

into their like cerebral cortex through

netflix's latest body implant enjoys it

is it a case of like it's a student film

quality and no it doesn't want to see

the life of day no i think it's

literally it's like a time capsule kind

of thing it's like we're going to shoot

a movie in 2015. this is what a movie

looked like in 2015 and you're not going

to see it

for a hundred years and then in 100

years time they're going to open it up

and i'm sure it will play it like tiff

or [ __ ] whatever underwater festival

tiff has become i don't know if i would

do that i've learned from every movie

that if you find something that's a

hundred years old if you open it a mummy

will do something oh man

would you think malcolm

in that one oh my god maybe the mummy's

on the [ __ ] titanic in that movie

maybe that's what it is

so it's like titanic in the future that

little like case that they made for

their time capsule finds themselves on

titanic too and then malkovich uh future

future future future future grandchild

opens it oh that's too much futures

future future there you think future

future i'd say free futures sure i feel

like three is gonna malkovich is pretty

[ __ ] old as it is man so

yeah my my

grandkids will watch it maybe

yeah maybe maybe they'll they might see

it in their retirement home maybe yeah

should we do the box office for spy kids

3d

this movie opened on the 25th of july

2003 opened at number one which is kind

of surprising did 32 and a half million

on its opening weekend on its way to 111

million domestic

197 worldwide total damn that's a lot of

money

it was in the day though like when 3d

was still was this pre-avatar i can't

remember oh god yeah no this was this

was still the whole red and blue

cardboard glasses 3d yep

2003 man it was still a novelty like i

remember i didn't watch in theaters but

i remember going on blockbuster and

specifically wanting to see how it is to

have that [ __ ] fly at my face

but then it realized if you have like

glasses and you have like maybe a

stronger eye than the other like it

doesn't it doesn't really work that well

so i had to rely on the visuals and the

powerfulness of the story to get me

through

did it did you get through yeah i was

gonna say how the [ __ ] did you manage

that um uh

yeah sure i think i was a pr

i appreciated that if you were to take

the if you were to beat out this plot

there's not even enough to like maybe

fill a whole page

jesus and they somehow managed to make a

film like in my head i was like that's

kind of impressive

well we'll get to how they managed to

make a [ __ ] film out of that in a

minute but uh number two at the box

office that weekend ah we literally just

spoke about it it was pirates of the

caribbean the curse of the black pearl

yay

uh in its third weekend that's the

second one right that's the first one oh

sorry that's the first one and i don't

know

yeah it's um i don't know i haven't seen

it in a long time yeah i was fine at the

time orlando bloom so long based on a

theme park ride i mean i mean johnny

depp got a [ __ ] oscar nomination for

that movie for [ __ ] sake isn't that

worthwhile

that's weird yep number three that

weekend another movie we've talked about

before but have probably not gonna be

doing an episode on it bad boys too

yeah i remember it being okay yeah i

think we've already agreed that it's

kind of fine and the other better

podcasts have done funnier episodes on

it than we're probably ever going to

muster so let's just leave that one be

number four another movie that we've

talked about and we may be doing an

episode on this yet lara croft tomb

raider the cradle of life she punches

his jack

in the face does she yeah that one kind

of flopped that one kind of

underperformed i think they were

expecting that one to be huge and it

kind of killed that franchise dead for a

good 15 years it's because it was really

boring

is it too boring to be an episode um i

don't know i guess

when you want an action movie you want

like this kinetic kind of like thrill

ride and i remember watching it in

theaters and i was like wow this feels

like it was like shot like really slow

and they just kind of fast forward

okay i don't know

it wasn't as action-packed but then it

really got by on like your love of

angeline julie and gerald butler gerard

butler but yeah

gerard general

i'm star

uh number five that weekend a movie have

you ever seen but a lot of people love

seabiscuit okay i've never seen it i

have no response it's like oh my head is

like that's the one with the horse yeah

yeah there's a horse yeah and it runs

real

fast maguire's on the horse i don't know

you know

oh [ __ ] i forgot about him i'll think of

his horse i i never saw it i don't know

yeah that was the box office for spy

kids 3ds opening weekend let's get into

this movie first things first and let's

just [ __ ]

get rid of this elephant in the room

watching 3d content and stuff that was

designed to be screened in 3d watching

it in 2d always [ __ ] sucks it always

sucks right and i felt that more than

usual watching this movie because

obviously this movie was before reald 3d

became a thing in theaters so it was

still the anagraph from red and blue or

red and green um glasses and it felt

like it was trying so hard to remind you

that this is fruity

yeah

there are only like three good 3d movies

in my book intrigue go on final

destination five okay wasn't there one

that literally marked itself as the 3d

version so it wasn't even the one that

like pushed itself and marked itself i

think that was the fourth one but the

fourth one sucks as a movie so

regardless of whether the 3d is any good

i don't generally tend to watch that

fourth one over and over again i've seen

final destination five a bunch of

[ __ ] times anyway yeah that i could

see it working yeah monster house okay

and dread the the 2011 2012 dread movie

um has awesome use of 3d in it anything

else i don't care no yeah i'm the same

like for me like again like because i

have like glasses like they always never

really work for me and even now i find

the ones like the only reason i would

watch 3d now if it's like oh there's no

other showing ugh i'd be like fine and

i'll put it on because like it's like

it's not as fun to like have it like all

of a sudden the like the contrast and

the colors all of a sudden become darker

and like oh this is exciting so all the

hard work that the people done to

grading the film is now like not even on

the screen unlike nether who was like oh

it's so weird watching 2d that's not how

that sounds he sounds much more pleasant

than that ah but like that's a pretty

close approximation of how i sound yeah

that [ __ ] sucks

no but like i kind of like get a kick

i guess when i was watching this movie i

realized what i was in store for so like

i hit all sudden turn on this like flick

in my brain tries to appreciate the like

the weirdness of it like there are

scenes like like later on where like you

you can see they had a green screen so

they took like a stock footage of

whatever else so they're being like it's

all this chaos happening but in the

background you see like two civilians

just walking casually because it's stock

footage or just like any background that

i had to get

they use a lot of stock footage in these

movies so that's what it becomes that

it's more like the movie making magic of

it and seeing like all right it's like

almost like a game like will they make

this 3d oh look tongue sticking out of

the uh at your face uh i don't know like

the opening scene like what do they have

just like random square pixels flying at

me i was like all right let's do this

and let me tell you when three does work

it somehow usually is with like the text

and titles and they do like that

superman like opening kind of theme

thing and like

for some reason it's like the the frog

tongues don't get me the punching of

like whatever like weapons they have at

the screen don't get me it's like the

titles those are the ones that i feel

like i can touch the most

superman and through in 3d would be

awesome the old dick donner films [ __ ]

yeah sorry go ahead

that's my little spiel i like text guys

ooh fun okay we can go on all right we

know if we're going to make you a 3d

movie it just has to be like a

text-based movie then just it's just

like that star wars squirrel that's for

a feature film like

it's just the script of star wars that

scrolls by for the longest time oh my

god every now and again a word will just

randomly pop out of it

this movie opens with basically what is

chinatown for teeny weenies with uh this

juni kid uh juni cortez yes

investigating some [ __ ] corruption at

a water pack and it is it is literally

just a straight chinatown reference it's

kind of funny the way it does yeah

absolutely almost verbatim dialogue um

as well did anybody notice who plays

this girl that is uh asking him to

investigate what's going on at the water

park no oh it's selena gomez

selena gomez

yeah i had to look that up because

somebody mentioned she was in there and

i was like where oh my gosh she's so

tiny amazing the basically the plot of

this movie is the juni wants the new

video game called game over and

apparently the maker of the video game

is going to use it to control the minds

of all its players uh for reasons we

never really get into and the maker of

said video game is a character called

the toy maker and played by sylvester

stallone

does he make toys in this were their

toys not really okay doesn't make a

single [ __ ] toy um i want to know

what things he made in the past that

constituted toys that's what i'm a

little concerned about little can and

curious about also we kind of scared her

to buy this but like when he was doing

his detective work he was really

underselling himself 4.99 to actually go

out and do the investigation that's like

probably what like eight hours of work

so like he needs to what's it called

think of his finances more i know this

is a kids film but financial literacy at

a young age is very important

did any of you guys ever see mystery

team the uh the [ __ ] donald glover

movie yes oh my god yes that's what it

reminded me of were there child

detectives just that's what it reminded

me of it absolutely reminded me of that

movie yeah were there child detectives

that have grown up like he doesn't

realize that his friends are going to

college and he's kind of stuck in this

grade school mentality of like solving

mysteries and stuff if you haven't seen

mystery team go watch mystery team it's

great it's great it's so funny i really

had fun with the opening scene like and

i kind of wish they played with like the

genres a bit more if this movie had just

been this kid

running around doing gumshoe and

literally he gets gum on his shoes at

one point

but if he was doing like gumshoe stuff

and just being like a kind of [ __ ]

philip marlowe jr kind of character i

would have been all in on this movie yes

i love it i would love to watch a kid

detective movie i mean you know we had a

high school detective movie in brick so

why can't we have like an elementary

school detective movie as well right

anyway yeah some kid played by emily

osmond comes uh flying in his window she

flies in with her pigtails gertie okay

uh you're gonna have to fill me in if

she's a cat if these are characters from

the second movie because i never saw

that second movie uh she flies in and

she i don't her character looks like

she's dubbed did anybody else get a

weird vibe that her dialogue like it was

being dubbed honestly probably wasn't

paying enough attention for that i don't

think well you know what this was in the

first five minutes so i was still kind

of focused don't worry that went away

she drops in to provide the theme of the

story which is family is everything and

then she kind of just [ __ ] off again

and that's what we see of her until the

end of this film and then juni gets a

call from the president played by oh my

gosh george clooney what are you doing

in this movie being george clooney i

totally forgot he's really good in from

dustil dawn so that's why he's got like

the rodriguez connection right

i think that's honestly really cool

though like the fact that because okay

the whole notion in this movie is family

all of a sudden i have like flashbacks

to like fashion furious

he just owns that word so like

if spy kids comes back and takes it back

i will kind of be excited for that but

like the the fact that like this movie

is based on family but like if you look

at his kind of real life like in all his

movies he's managed to like make this

found family with all the like bringing

off like the actors and everyone from

like el mariachi to like again dustil

dawn into this movie so for some reason

i kind of find that cool and i hope they

wanted to participate it because they're

best friends and not because of like

contractual obligations yeah sure no i

think i think people find rodriguez a

fairly agreeable person to work with he

does tend to reuse a lot of the same

people in his movies um so yeah i mean

you know i guess he's probably a fairly

fun guy i mean his films look like

they're probably fun to make right right

it's just a shame that this one isn't as

fun to watch look there is so much

[ __ ] shitty green screen in this film

oh yeah that's like we know this that

this is my pet peeve in movies is bad

green screen and 90 of this film takes

place in front of a green screen i my

mind could not handle it it um

it did not age well and thank god it's i

i always wonder if people can tell which

movies i've suggested we watch

um

because this is definitely one of them

where it's just it's mindless you kind

of glaze over but yeah i did a lot of

just staring at the background and

realizing that these kids are just in an

empty room yeah

they are there is nothing around them

they are doing their best right and it's

you can't i mean you can fault them a

little but they're just kids they're

having a good time and therefore i'm

having a good time why not yeah sure i

mean you know i'm sure everybody had a

whole [ __ ] ton of fun making this

movie but at the same time

just because something's fun to make

doesn't mean it's fun to watch right you

know um yes uh enter salma hayek uh

playing um some scientist lady i guess i

don't know i was kind of fuzzy on what

the details were here she kind of she's

basically here just to drop some

exposition and uh tell junie that he

needs to save his sister from the game

that she is now trapped in and he has to

shut it down but while he's shutting it

down he can't release the toy maker

because apparently it's bad if this guy

gets out in the world i don't know yeah

this is at oss headquarters he has to go

to oss headquarters by the way have all

these weird like hexagonal cubicles

that are like just dozens of feet in the

air with like no bear like those people

could easily fall out of those things

yeah this place is a health and safety

net

it looks dangerous

i kind of would love my my office to be

that where you just sit in a lawn chair

yeah and then you flip up your laptop

when you're ready and then you flip it

down when you're not so ready it kind of

reminds me of flip phones where you

grade ragequit and just slam it shut

i think everyone will love lawn chair

office decor

yeah there are kids logging into this

video game and they can't log out

they're stuck they're just staring at it

is that like the concept then is the

this is like a prison for these kids

because i was really fuzzy on what the

stakes were in this movie there were no

stakes the stakes

were that

it's trapping children in a virtual

reality but the game hasn't fully gone

online yet so the kids that are trapped

are just the beta testers okay but but

but what happens when it does go online

all these kids get trapped and and then

what is he like using them as a fuel

source you're gonna brainwash them

because if you control the future

generations oh yeah if you control the

children you control the future yes like

the whitney houston song you both really

got into it at this point i realized

what was kind of how how this movie

works is that as soon as you start

asking a question something 3d will pop

out to you and like what was that never

mind and then you forget about what

you're doing amazing so it literally

stops you from asking questions by

bombarding you with something in your

face so it's great for people with low

tender spend

i was like is that why i enjoyed it i

have a terrible attention span it didn't

work for me fair enough how weird must

have been for this kid to watch this

movie in theaters when it premiered or

any of these people because like it was

so much so much of it was green screen

like that's gotta be weird right yeah i

guess i think just in general any time

like i don't know for me like in school

when we had to do like a short film and

for some reason decide to get the room

that has the biggest screen even seeing

yourself on screen in that sense is the

most awkwardest thing for me so yeah i

would imagine seeing them on screen

would be weird but then if they're maybe

narcissistic they would enjoy it they're

they're like acting kids right acting

kids love looking at themselves on

screen well hopefully the 3d work for

them that's all that matters yeah

there's like uh so junior's in the game

and there's like a bunch of beta testers

in there i guess these are the ones that

are already trapped right and like

their leader is called res and this kid

goes

oh that's a good joke

and i

both groaned and then i clapped

yeah i kind of laughed at that one um

anyway these beta testers boot junior

out to the moon because they don't want

him around because they're determined to

beat the game themselves you're talking

about like you know i was like oh it

distracts you but this is the point

where like actually started trying to

think if this was a commentary on gamers

i was like there's such dicks is this a

commentary yeah but but online gaming

didn't exist in 2003 in the way it does

now there were there was online games

you could play like fantasy star online

on the dreamcast and whatnot and i guess

like everquest halo and stuff yeah and

everquest but like compared to like the

the kind of the portrayal of video

gamers now on things like [ __ ] odd or

whatever or fortnite i don't know i just

feel like maybe it was pretty ahead of

the curve to be making that kind of

commentary all right

that was not but no you're right gamers

are dicks and i say that as a gamer they

are [ __ ] dicks competitive [ __ ]

oh yeah oh yeah they yeah they existed

in 2003. i was a dick with the people

playing goldeneye on the [ __ ] n64 in

the 90s right you know we all were yeah

yeah yeah proximity mine

uh in the [ __ ] facility level in the

[ __ ] air vents so that when somebody

spawns in the air vent they're [ __ ]

that's the way to do it yep i guess the

reason why i asked it wasn't why is it

commentary because all the time when

julie is like talking to them and like

listening to them i'm like like please

like use your common sense they're

clearly dicks why do you keep on

trusting them like so many times in this

movie he's a kid he's naive right but

yeah no they are they are kind of dicks

enter ricardo montelbana's grandpa

yeah

you know junie gets to pick a list of

people that he wants to go into the game

from people he knows and he has like a

list of pros and cons and i swear the

[ __ ] when it says cons i thought it said

khans and i thought that might be a nice

little joke but i guess it's probably

just the way sylvester stallone speaks

made it sound like he was saying khans

um i was really bummed out that antonio

banderas and carla gagino are like

barely in this movie by the way yep

they're all over that [ __ ] poster

they are not in this film until the last

10 minutes i was almost convinced that

uh antonio banderas wasn't even in the

same room as any of them until he hugs

his kid and then i was like oh [ __ ] okay

so he was there but they just cut him in

so weird yeah they were there for a day

of filming max all right yeah yeah

apparent apparently not all those people

were filmed at the same time or in the

same place see that makes sense to me

it's weird apparently grandpa has like

beef with this toy maker character but

you know we like we can't spend any time

on like developing that in any way

because we've got to get to this giant

robot fight between junior and some girl

called dimitra but like don't you love

how they get rid of the grandpa like

because like they can't even be bothered

it's like pretty butterfly i was like

okay all right yeah he just [ __ ] off

that's what's happening now he picks

grandpa they make a big deal out of it

and then he just [ __ ] off yeah yeah

he's kind of in and out of this movie a

lot it's uh it's bizarre well he's happy

to have legs so he's like

he just like runs

um yeah this [ __ ] cgi robot fight did

this look good in 2003 i can't remember

what was like what was the standard of

cgi in 2003 that was like around the

time that angly hulk movie was out right

i think so lord of the rings

was the was fellowship what year did

fellowship come out 2001 yeah okay yeah

there you go that means it should have

been around two towers releases does

those trees look real hell yeah they did

well i kind of bought into like because

it's a video game i was like fine like

if you look at video game graphics and

like the cgi scenes or what are those

scenes called whatever the cgi cutscenes

i was like

i felt like maybe they're on par with

that but then we made fun of like mummy

returns for having like a playstation 2

[ __ ] cut scenes so yeah yeah that's

different though okay with this i don't

know why i'm all sudden getting heated

like that's okay no like mommy returns

that was like going like this clearly

doesn't look like a human oh well this

one is like at least it kind of got the

vibe of like cartoon video game antics

and like stuck with it they didn't try

to pull off a realistic looking scene

of antonio banderas or like imagine if

sylvester stallone was 3d in all of us

like i don't know if i could take that i

don't know roddy i think what my

complaint is is that if you're going to

have a giant cgi robots you better make

them look like real giant robots

otherwise i'm going to get [ __ ] angry

about it

yeah they have this they have this fight

and um oh man then we cut to stallone

and kind of my favorite thing about this

movie is sylvester stallone and the fact

that he's also playing like three

additional characters here that are like

he's kind of like a subconscious or

something i don't know he's playing an

austrian military guy he's playing some

scientist and also a hippie oh it's like

in like expanding his id into like

personable people it's weird as [ __ ] i

guess they i guess they just didn't want

him to be talking out loud to himself

like in a

i mean and look he's having fun god

bless him he's having fun in this movie

yep unlike some action heroes stallone

can make fun of himself

i can't imagine who the [ __ ] you're

talking about there um

anyway they go off to play some [ __ ]

what i thought was f-zero for a minute

here or like some f-zero knock-off but

it turns out that this kid's car can

like throw a pie so i guess it's more

like mario kart right oh yeah yeah yeah

yeah i was thinking the whole way

through this doesn't have this looks

like an episode of reboot oh it does

it really does reboot is great reboot is

great that's a compliment

crossed with tron or something yeah yeah

look this movie is like super bright and

super colorful but like i said that

doesn't mean it's good right it's just

like it's ugly i don't know i i guess

for an 11 year old this movie probably

rules yeah but i was gonna say i

remember it fondly but i think that was

because of different standards i might

have had you know it it just kind of

fits with the

setup that they had i wouldn't say that

spy kids one or two were you know

necessarily exceptional oscar-winning

yeah um but it still felt like just

enough that it was it kept my attention

at the time

for what an hour and whatever minutes i

don't even remember now

that blur i kind of have the an issue

that these action sequences do seem to

go on a little bit too long

like this race sequence felt like it

went on forever

um but that may also be because around

about the point uh that they have this

race i kind of stopped the movie

for a whole day and went away and came

back to it a day later because i just

had a headache did you take a tunnel

advil no i didn't i didn't what i did

was i smoked a joint and did some

mushrooms and then came back and watched

the second half nice you know what makes

3d a lot better being on magic mushrooms

when you're watching it because shit's

really popping out when you're watching

it yeah

but like to kind of go on that though

like i don't know after a while i was

like okay clearly this is just kind of

like set pieces and what can ever go in

your face so then there's a point where

i just started analyzing the set pieces

and i was like okay that's pretty

interesting like the robot scene had the

thing where he ran around

in like

uh around the arena and i thought that

was kind of a unique way to play the

fight it wasn't like kind of a straight

up box and sock'em that's a i love those

things i'm a little frustrated with how

much life that took off of her like i

didn't know being

dizzy cost me six levels but all right

there's no logic to that life stuff the

health bar like she ended up with um she

went from a level 9 at the beginning of

that

robot battle to like three lives left

yeah i mean look i got a vibe from this

movie that robert rodriguez maybe hasn't

actually played that many video games

because yeah i don't know like this juni

kid comes across this health pack and

he's like what is that and i'm like

[ __ ] hell kid you're meant to be like

a gamer and you don't know what a

[ __ ] health pack looks like come on

seriously uh you forgot the whole like

about the prophecy he's the guy ness oh

yeah they they believe he's the guy from

the from the game's billboard like this

silhouette figure and that that's how

they all end up following him is because

he kind of matches the shape of this

figure no but like it happened before

the race scene where he was at the

racing no it's after the race scene

where he comes out but like it's the

whole thing for like coming back to my

whole thing about thinking that there

was like a bare minimum of beats and

they see how much they can flush it like

the guy feels like such a placeholder

for what the

the one the guy felt like kind of like i

don't know what we should call it you

know what there's no other alternative

it's fine the way it is just call him

the guy

yeah just leave it or they just forgot

to update that page when they were doing

a second pass on this script maybe i

don't know um also this dimitra kid and

i'm not being mean don't take it as i'm

being meaning about this kid but when i

was watching i was kind of like is this

kid meant to kind of look a little bit

like sylvester stallone

she looks a bit like stallone okay and i

thought oh is this like a plot point did

they cast stallone's daughter because it

turns out she's like a villain i wasn't

like a hundred percent off right i was

kind of like half right yeah she it does

turn out that she is like a program and

not a real kid but when i was looking at

her i was like god she actually looks a

little bit like stallone is this

actually his daughter or something yeah

it's not it's just just just me me

reading into [ __ ] i guess i don't know

you were trying to she just has a piece

of hair obnoxiously hanging in front of

her face for the entire movie yes

like move your hair also this this juni

kid can't say nintendo and i thought it

was like he couldn't say it and then i

realized that he's probably not allowed

to say it yeah

nintendo are like super fussy about

licensing stuff yeah so he goes

something like he says like atari sega

yeah this is like oh man or the wizard

okay so like who's more obnoxious the

performances by the kids in this film

which you know they're kind of janky but

you know god bless them they're trying

or performances by like actual fear or

kids like joseph gordon lev or anne

hathaway which would you rather watch in

a movie well you don't like joseph girl

levitt it's not that i dislike him i

just always find his performances to be

very kind of like certainly when he was

younger they're very kind of like their

kids you know

i mean i like

juni at the beginning of the film when

he's playing like a hard-boiled

detective because that kind of fits with

his acting style the it i feel like his

at the way he's performing the character

works not as good in the

kind of virtual world that he's

inhabiting where he's surrounded by

characters that are hamming it the [ __ ]

up or just shooting the scenery or

whatever but like he's not even i don't

know like i wish that he'd stayed in

like his hard-boiled detective outfit

when he was in the virtual world while

he's surrounded by people in like these

like little mega man outfits like i

would have loved if it was like some

kind of detective thing and he's you're

not actually the toy toy maker it's it's

this guy and it's almost like pulls off

grandpa's mask and it reveals that it's

him or something it's like a real

scooby-doo moment

oh my gosh

exactly that would have been fun

yeah i mean it must have been hard for

these kids right because acting on

against green screen stuff and cgi stuff

is hard you're just like it's a tennis

ball and a stick right that's always the

adage that when you're filming they just

give you like a point of reference to

look at and i thought it was the acting

like for what it was like again this is

a movie that really is just showcasing

3d so just taking that into

consideration i thought the acting is

fine but like if you coming down to it

though like what are you supposed to act

like what was his arc in this like what

is he at the end of this movie coming

out into the real world with oh like a

family like yeah the fellaini thing like

he's he's estranged from his family at

the start of the movie he kind of feels

like um like there's no unity in his

family that's why he's doing his own

thing as a detective

oh okay so i think he he kind of does

have an arc i guess he only works with

this family in like the last few minutes

of the film mostly him it's mostly about

him and his sister yeah we're clutching

at straws here to justify this pokemon

it's a [ __ ] kids film we can't be too

mean about it because it's for kids

there are good kids like this is on his

own level of just entertaining like

there's a lot of like kids feeling that

like like to this day like an adult will

cry about it because of the memories of

that film sure betray you

um

um

you know what never ending story two and

three [ __ ] might be episodes

we'll find out sooner or later i

actually seen the second one a long time

ago okay so right okay going back to

what we were talking about about the

stakes like they keep talking about how

when they run our lives they get

evacuated from the game forever but like

what what does that actually mean what

are the consequences of that did they

die if they enter some kind of like

vegetative state do they like get

grounded by their parents because they

already said earlier that the kids

couldn't leave the game so what does

that mean for him like they figured out

how to a way to get him out of the game

but not the other kids i just this is it

i don't understand what happens when

they lose their lives basically what

happens is that they are banned and they

cannot re-enter so the other kids they

don't really have stakes but what juni's

stakes is is that if he dies he can't go

back in to get carmen okay you know what

just sign up with a different [ __ ]

email address i used to do that [ __ ] on

battlefield 4 all the time let me just

take out my eyes and then just you know

get somebody else's but um with the one

kid the strong one arnold

hey he was talking about how he wanted

to beat the game so that he could get a

large amount of money for his family yes

oh so there's like cash prizes for this

thing so then

if you the players yeah yeah but he if

if he's a beta tester would he even be

eligible for the money no chris he

wouldn't because he knows all the back

doors through the game right i feel like

that would be a conflict of interest

something about he signed up with a visa

or something like that okay so he was

like yeah if i win there's supposed to

be a bunch of you know that's something

i guess but i still don't understand

like what the consequences here really

are i feel like they were intentionally

vague though because it's a family film

yeah my control of these children who

are all going to stay hooked into the

game permanently it's a prequel to the

matrix

stallone is stallone is the ai that

takes over the world and that's the

that's the stakes for the overall movie

but i'm talking about like the

individual stakes for these characters

yeah oh if they die they just seem to

get booted out of the game i mean that's

kind of

okay fine yeah it doesn't really i guess

i'm guessing somebody had it originally

in the script that it's like if they die

in the game they die in real life and

then like i guess the producers were

like no no you turned that into a bad

idea children's movies

we get a literal flores lava sequence

here which is kind of cool and they like

surf on the lava which is yes kind of

nice um and then sama hayek decides that

she's just gonna kill these kids in the

game with a big lava monster because she

can't risk letting the toy maker out but

also like juni has already saved his

sister so again i'm not really seeing

what the problem is here i don't know

when that happened i was like is that

how she's gonna save the sister

literally he's gonna be like you're free

like what that doesn't make you're

supposed to be villainous makes no sense

i mean look we tried to get hold of a

copy of this in 3d and i know like megan

you ordered a 3d copy on blue uh was it

blu-ray or um no it's just dvd from ebay

uh yeah and like uh we didn't we figure

out that like the what was the shipping

time it was like three weeks or

something it i think it estimated the

shipping time was like 14 to 25 days and

it's shipping from another town in

ontario yeah and we worked it out that

like literally it's a three-day walk

from here like they could walk that

[ __ ] dvd here in that amount of time

like a four-hour drive from here or

something probably not even that crazy

um but anyway we couldn't get hold of it

in 3d so we all had to watch this in 2d

so you know what maybe watching it i

know i definitely did see it in 3d in

theaters but maybe watching it in 3d

really does add another dimension to

this film i don't know oh yeah i'll

watch it again when i get the dvd

because i mean i wasted 10 bucks on it

so

why not damn

uh here comes elijah wood last seen our

back to the future part two episode uh

playing the guy the fabled guy he looks

like a giant in this film do you reckon

they did that like deliberately because

he was just coming off the back of all

those lord of the rings movies probably

he looked like a child to me he looked

younger than like some literally my note

dude is he still looks 12 years old i

mean he's in his 20s when he's filming

this but yeah he's got such a baby face

that he still looks like a 12 year old

he's adorable anyway he's the he's the

fabled the guy and he's meant to

basically lead them into level five and

the moment they get to level five he

gets wiped out like a big old door

kind of funny

i have to admit i have to admit that was

funny yeah it's [ __ ] uh samuel l

jackson in deep blue seed he basically

just [ __ ] buys it straight away when

i was a kid i was so frustrated because

i was really excited

i had gotten into the

lord of the rings uh franchise

and everything so when i heard elijah

wood was in it i was like this is gonna

be the best movie ever he's the guy and

then he [ __ ] shows up and i was so

so hyped and he dies and i remember just

sitting there for a while in my feelings

and i don't remember most of like the

ending to that movie

it felt like i watched it for the first

time because clearly my brain stopped

processing it after elijah wood died

it was

it was heartbreaking

it's i mean it's a pretty good punchline

it's an old gag but it's a good one um

yeah yeah demetra shows up again and

juni's sister is like she's not real and

i'm like yeah i've had girlfriends like

that before as well um

like you can also you can't just swipe

your hand for a computer program like

that kid keep your hands to yourself

that's just

not on the way he just starts like

poking at her

um

ricardo marvin kind of sucks in this

movie i'm sorry i know it sounds mean

but he's kind of i don't know there was

just something about his performance

that felt a bit off for me i don't know

i don't know if he's acting against the

kid

in actual in actuality or if he's just

saying his lines and then like i don't

know if they were both filmed in the

same room that's what i'm curious about

yeah i will say though ricardo matavon

like this is one of those his last

on-screen appearances

he aged really gracefully oh yeah he

looks great he looks great

[Laughter]

still sexy even as an old dude and also

i realized at this point in the movie

that the other guy with salma hayek in

the control room that's watching them is

mike judge yes yes of beavis and

butthead and king of the hill fame i was

like i didn't realize up until this

point and then when every time he spoke

after that i just heard him saying it in

a hank hill voice yeah we're gonna get

the kids out of the game

yeah because i saw him listed on the

cast list i was like wait that mike

judge yeah it is weird you must have

been friends with the director or

something i guess yeah i guess um also

clooney turns back up and does like an

impression of stallone for a split

second which is kind of what he's trying

to do

like that and it's it's pretty good and

and then he turns into stallone it turns

out like stallone has been [ __ ]

rigging this whole thing the whole time

i don't know i kind of tapped out by the

time this movie got to its climax well i

mean hey family shows up and it's cool

and we get to finally see

the the parents antonio banderas and

all them yeah

they they shut down the game and the toy

maker somehow escapes regardless and

he's got even though he did a bunch of

[ __ ] i don't know

yeah he's got like giant robots that are

now attacking stock footage of i don't

know i'm gonna say austin i don't know

where this is meant to be but i'm

assuming it's like austin

um and then we get like this call to all

of their family members to come and help

which is kind of the only bit of the

movie where my interest kind of perked

up uh because we get like chishmaru in

here for a start which is great is he

gonna do like a a pg friendly version of

the [ __ ] speech from from dustil dawn

no i guess no

um we get danny trejo here uh playing

machete

yeah which

this was three no wait four years before

grindhouse when they had that fake

machete trailer in grindhouse that then

spun off into two machete movies oh

really yeah so like i didn't realize the

origin of that machete character is

actually from [ __ ] spy kids which is

kind of crazy i love it um alan [ __ ]

and tony shalhoub show up as well with

like an army of robot kids for some

[ __ ] reason i seem to remember alan

[ __ ] being in the first movie right i

think he's like the bad guy in that um

as someone that hasn't has no

recollection of both the first two

movies i was like oh i probably i'm not

enjoying this as much as i am supposed

to if i were to actually watch those two

because it felt like it was like this is

the end of the trilogy and we're

bringing every your fan favorites and

it's like i don't know who any of these

people are

yeah same yeah i mean [ __ ] bill

paxton shows up as a cowboy i was like

oh

drops in on a flying pig and at this

point i really thought my mushrooms had

properly kicked in because i was like

[ __ ] hell there's a flying pig with

steve jeremy on it amazing but no that's

apparently really in the [ __ ] movie

it is and then grandpa volunteers to

shut down the toy maker's last giant cgi

robot and this juni kid is like grandpa

no and carlo gugino is kind of like he

has to let him go but then what we don't

actually see is under her breath she's

like his care home is really expensive

anyway and we could have like a second

and third vacation every year if we just

let this play out oh my god and then

they shut down this robot and they all

[ __ ] put their hands in and say what

we already knew from the start of the

movie that family is everything right

and that's kind of the end of the movie

apart from those 3d credits you know

what i don't need [ __ ]

blasted at me in 3d at the end of a

movie the words harvey weinstein yeah

thanks

shall we do and we haven't done one in a

while shall we do a quiz oh sure yes

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[Applause]

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awesome

all right i don't have a title for this

quiz but basically the gist is i'm gonna

give you the name of a fake video game

from a movie

and i want you to tell me what movie

it's from and if you don't know i want

you to [ __ ] guess

this this feels like a very threatening

quiz

[ __ ] guess well you know what happens

you get you're going to get evacuated

from the podcast if you don't get it

right right you're going to lose all

your lives and uh and i don't know

python style i don't know

yeah um all right are you guys ready to

play sure yeah i mean if you're not just

saying we'll go do something else i've

suddenly forgotten every movie i've ever

watched so thanks for bringing that up

again

so caveat on this is it was pretty hard

to find fake games from movies so a few

of these are from tv shows as well so

yeah that might help your mind a little

nope i've never got tv2 thanks i guess

we'll find out how we do all right megan

you're up first okay what movie features

a video game called

transcendence and i'll give you a clue

the c is capitalized and it ends in a z

or a zed and that is also capitalized

i have no idea

all right i'll give you another clue

it's a canadian movie

i don't know why i said it like that

oh

no how should it be for canadian film

it's not i mean i'm sure it's i don't

know i don't i don't know transcendence

it sounds a lot like the title of the

movie well kind of the way it's

pronounced i

uh

why am i talking like robot all of a

sudden

yeah it's not it's not your goal

unless you want to buzz in right if you

know

buzz

okay brody buzz roddy buzzed in right

you want to take a guess existence

it is existence

existence there you go rudy gets megan's

point okay fine well if you don't know

the answer other people can just buzz in

now we just change the rules [ __ ] it who

cares yo existence is like a wild film i

still being remember being creeped out

by the game controller i don't think i

could ever play a fleshy looking oh my

god i would get an existence pour in my

body in a [ __ ] heartbeat that would

be amazing actually sort of get infected

oh anything to get me out of this

[ __ ] reality

roddy you're up next all right what

movie or tv

show features a game called

bonestorm oh bonestorm i feel like it

could be like south park maybe

oh you're so close but i'm afraid that's

not right megan's buzzing megan

you got the simpsons

megan wins back that point from roddy is

the simpsons

laura what movie or tv show features a

game called

roy

a life well lived

aha

i have no idea plus

yeah go

roddy with the buzz rick and morty it is

from rick and morty it's when yes i

thought it sounded familiar it's from

the jerry daycare episode when they're

playing the royal life live game

yes getting off the grid there's a

social insurance number right

doesn't he like become like a [ __ ]

carpet salesman

yeah oh it's so good um megan you're up

next okay what movie or tv show features

a game called

sugar

yes it's from wreck-it ralph it's the

the karting game the sarah silverman's

character plays

good movie about video games roddy yes

sir what movie

and i'm just to help you out a little

clues in the title what movie features a

video game called wrestle jam 88

wrestle jam 88

this is my thinking sounds

wrestle jam oh i don't even know because

i don't know i just want to like give a

call out and say mamma mia too

wrestlejam 88

88.

you gotta have to do something with

wrestle i'd imagine because it's not

space jam yeah i'm you'd have thought

maybe it would be something to do with

wrestle

is there any movie you can think of

anybody want to buzz in any movie that

might have the word wrestle as part of

its title the wrestler that one with you

don't get a [ __ ] go because you

the wrestler

laura gets the point that is correct

it's from darren aronofsky's the

wrestler there's a scene where mickey

rock is playing some

nes style wrestling game that features

his character as a playable character in

the game it was worth it that's right

that that one went to you meryl streep

uh laura your turn oh no where would you

find

oasis

why does that sound familiar

oh no in a juice

like aisle in the grocery store well you

would but that's not what we're talking

about here okay they made a game oh i

think megan knows she can buzz i know

what it is okay megan buzz in buzz uh

it's it's uh [ __ ] ready player one

it is and also may i add that you have

to refer to it as [ __ ] ready player

one whenever it gets brought up on this

podcast getting ready player one [ __ ]

ready play

david

sucks so badly i've totally lost count

of who's in the lead so we're just going

to do this last round

yeah i feel like i should maybe make a

note but i never i get too excited

into my quiz host [ __ ] capabilities i

know that we're stealing points from

each other it's all yeah oh yeah it's

all for still

megan what movie or film and this is a

tough one maybe would you find a game

called

demonic

sounds vaguely familiar but i

don't it's a comedy movie

i mean some people might say it's not a

comedy i think it's kind of funny but

it's a comedy movie about video game

developers

um

yeah i don't know i've drawn a blank

okay anybody want to buzz in a movie or

tv

it's a movie

demonic

yeah maybe this one's just too obscure

and there's comedy

nath do you want to buzz in i'll buzz in

i'll buzz in and tell you that the

answer is actually the movie grandma's

boy the [ __ ] happy madison comedy

that maybe

six people have seen wow yeah

they're developing a video game called

demonic in that game in that movie

congratulations on your uh on your point

there now yeah i'm glad

thank you

in which movie and this is a fake game

not a real game and i'll tell you why in

a minute because all the other ones have

been real

dude no but doom the arcade game oh wait

what i don't get this question because

there's a movie called doom so there's a

there's a movie where somebody is

playing an arcade cabinet of

doom

but doom was never an arcade cabinet it

was mocked up specifically for use in

this film

and when i saw this movie in fears i

turned because i went to see this with

my mom i turned to her and said that's

not a real game and you know what she

said to me she looked at me with the

loving eyes of her mother looking at her

son she said shut the [ __ ] up and uh

it's in the theaters and people are

watching that makes sense except more of

a scottish accent sure she said

shut the [ __ ] up um but anyway

to any one of us and probably uh roddy

what movie features doom the arcade game

i don't know so i'm just going to say

big

no afraid not literally for big oh

anybody else want to have a guess no

you're not going gonna get it i made

this one deliberately hard it is

featured in the movie gross point blank

oh in the convenience store there's a

doom arcade game before it gets blown up

how old were you watching girls point

blank with your mom how old the girl's

putting black is like bang bang bang

i was [ __ ] 17 when that movie came

out oh okay for some reason i thought

you were like a child like the child

who's watching el mariachi

no but my mom also took me to see

schindler's list when i was like 13 as

well so you know go figure

old enough um not in the uk it wasn't

because i was like 15. uh anyway laura

this is the last one okay you might get

this one

again the clue's kind of in the title

what movie or tv show

features a game called burger boss bob's

burger

that is correct yay

i actually earned one uh that was our

[ __ ] quiz winner

on video games i feel like nobody was

the winner in this one i feel like

especially you dear listener we're the

loser in this one

never mind um

all right

spike it's 3d would you guys recommend

this movie yes for all of the 3d action

and and uh color

the

draw carla uh

how do you

oh look carla oh my god are you okay

right here yeah man what the [ __ ]

i don't know i felt like if i thought

for some reason i needed to let me like

yes then as i tried to defend it come on

you can't actually recommend this movie

at all

hey that's a solid reason

she's in the movie for like two minutes

yeah worth it

those are some good minutes you know i

guess uh laura would you recommend this

um i would if you have the three weeks

to spare and can get a dvd copy with the

3d

glasses and everything because

realistically the only thing that this

movie for me has going for it is the

nostalgia without it it's fine but it's

gross to look at so i i wouldn't okay

uh megan

i mean we'll see how i feel after i

watch it in 3d if that ever happens um

but like it's like a theme park ride

right like i guess it would appeal to

kids if they're watching it in 3d but

other than that i mean it was made in

2003. i don't know if it holds up for

kids now maybe it does i don't know we

should go we should go find a child and

make them watch spy kids 3d and ask them

what they think yes i'll i'll as soon as

i get my 3d glasses i'll stick them on

my infant park him in front of the towel

sure

um yeah i i don't know i'm an adult i

feel like i can't objectively uh judge

this film yeah that's my kind of my take

on it as well this movie i would

recommend it if you're 11 but watching

this as an adult i don't know it just

gave me a headache i was just like

there's so much green screen so much

shonky cgi

i get what rodriguez was trying to do

with this movie he had like he wanted to

like try and and i guess this movie did

kind of almost sort of kick start the

whole revival of 3d

it was a few years later until we got

stuff like monster house and beowulf and

uh my bloody valentine all started like

spilling out using like real d

technology which was actually you know

pretty good 3d really but uh but you

know just as an adult this movie just

kind of dragged a little bit for me

stallone's fine in it i think stallone's

funny uh other than that there isn't

really much going on here um hey ho that

was our episodes on spy kids 3d

game over directed by robert rodriguez

next week on the show whoever's doing

this is going to come after you again

trust me it's just an urban legend urban

legend my ass

you ever hear the urban legend about the

guy who picks up the dead hitchhiker

urban legends final cut kind of feel

like we might have to play a drinking

game where uh anytime somebody says the

word urban led or the words urban legend

we uh take a shot yeah kind of feel like

we might be parallel halfway through

next week's episode um is that the first

is that the second one or the third one

i can't remember it's the second one i

think the okay the third one is called

bloody mary i think correct i don't know

i haven't seen i haven't seen this movie

yeah i it has a reputation i guess we're

going to find out why would the second

one be called the final cut it makes it

sound like it's the end of a series or

something that's weird anyway

i'm sure again i'm sure we'll find out

next week

until then you can find us on twitter at

bad numbers pod we are on instagram bad

numbers podcast uh you can email the

show bwnpod gmail.com we're on youtube

as well why not look us up there we have

been bad with numbers from toronto

canada thank you very much for listening

stay safe out there goodbye

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john

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